I used to think that it mattered greatly what words I used and how I strung them together when I spoke to God. I used to copy words or formats I’d heard others use, and I used to be shy to do even that when praying out loud. But the more I’ve sought God and the more he’s drawn me close to him, the more I’ve realized that it’s the attitude of my heart and my relationship with him that matter most. 

Now, I start my day with prayer, I enjoy finding quiet places on a hike or a camping trip to spend time with God away from the distractions of a busy life, and I even talk to him when I’m driving. 

What distinguishes Christian prayer?1 

While there are some details that we shouldn’t get too hung up about, in a world where anything goes and “you do you,” it is important that we understand some of the fundamentals of our faith and the way we pray as Christians. 

  • We pray to the one true, triune God and that makes a difference. 
  • We don’t pray out of obligation; we pray as part of our meaningful relationship with God. 
  • We are focused on who God is and what he can do, not on ourselves and channeling our own strength. 
  • We don’t have to hide our true feelings or strive to say the perfect thing. We can come as we are; God wants to be in the mess with us. 
  • Prayer changes us. 

Why do we pray? 

In one of his messages on prayer, Timothy Ateek reminds us that Jesus set the example for us.2 Jesus prayed before, during, and after anything significant: 

  • During his own baptism (Luke 3:21–22); 
  • Before choosing his disciples (Luke 6:12–13); 
  • Before feeding the five thousand (Matt 14:19); 
  • Before he was betrayed (Luke 22:40); and 
  • During his crucifixion (Luke 23:34). 

There are so many reasons we pray! Some of these are to praise, get to know, and learn from God; to understand how God sees us and to understand his perspective on things happening in the world around us; and to discern his will. We also confess our sins, ask for forgiveness, and experience deep change—all part of our sanctification. Finally, we pray to hand over our cares to God; to ask for mercy and grace in our lives; and to receive power, strength, peace, clarity—any number of things only God can give us. 

What does the Bible say about prayer? 

The Bible gives us much meaningful direction when it comes to prayer. It teaches us: 

  • Prayer is intimate: It is an intimate moment with our triune God. We should not do it for the approval of others, but rather to grow our relationship with the Lord. (Matt 6:5–6) 
  • To acknowledge who God is and pray expectantly, dependently, and with humility: The Lord’s Prayer. (Matt 6:9–13) 
  • We can approach God with confidence: “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Heb 4:16 ESV) 
  • To pray constantly and with gratitude: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thes 5:16–18 ESV) 
  • To pray earnestly in all circumstances: I love how James 5:13–18 reinforces that prayer should be our first response. To anything. This passage tells us to pray when there is trouble, to praise when happy, and to pray for healing when someone is ill. It tells us that prayer is powerful and even gives us examples of how earnest prayer both caused and relieved draught. 
  • To surrender and trust: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Phil 4:6–7 NIV) 

What does God promise? 

The Bible also describes God’s responses to prayer. In his word, God promises that he will: 

  • Listen to us (Psalm 102:17); 
  • Hear us (Psalm 34:17); 
  • Not despise us (Psalm 102:17); 
  • Answer us (Jeremiah 33:3); 
  • Teach us (Jeremiah 33:3); 
  • Deliver us (Psalm 34:17); 
  • Forgive us (James 5:15); 
  • Heal us (James 5:15); 
  • Give us peace (Phil 4:7); and 
  • Respond to us: give, find, open the door (Luke 11:9). 

Growing in your prayer life 

God extends such a warm invitation, Jesus sets the perfect example, and the Bible encourages us so beautifully, there should be nothing stopping us from approaching our Father, right? But we sometimes struggle, each for different reasons. 

The four things that helped me the most with my prayer life were getting into the habit of starting my day with the Lord, journalling, listening to worship music, and going for walks in solitude. 

The first three are part of my morning routine: I love getting up early and making the most of that calm part of the day before the world gets busy. Journalling helps me to jot down my thoughts; scripture that has stood out to me; and Spirit-led answers, lessons, or loving reminders from God. When I’m distracted or my emotions are a bit turbulent, listening to a worship song helps to quiet my heart and focus my thoughts on the Lord. 

In the late afternoon or early evening, I try to get out for my “stet walk.” “Stet” is a Latin term that means “let it stand,” and a stet walk is when a copy-editor gets up from their desk for a physical and mental break—effectively letting go of whatever edit they were no doubt mulling over for way too long. A walk is wonderfully refreshing and good for us, but for me it’s also when I best process. I love walking along the cliff path in Hermanus, having a full-on conversation with God as I breathe in the fresh smell of the sea and feel the warmth of the setting sun on my face. Most of the time, I return from my stet walk with answers, peace, or both. “Stet” … “Let it be.” 

Many pastors share wonderful tips for growth in our prayer lives and I do encourage you to learn from them. But what I want to leave you with is this: Instead of getting hung up on what, how, and where, just … start. Start talking to God, start asking him questions, start sitting quietly in his presence, and start listening. Even if your words and thoughts are jumbled and less than perfect, just start. And trust him to meet you there. 

References 

  1. Ellis, S. 2024. “Prayer and Intimacy.” SATS Seminary on YouTube. Accessed September 29, 2024. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcJfDp5Sdrs. 
  1. Ateek, T. 2023. “How to Pray Pt. 2.” The Porch on YouTube. Accessed September 30, 2024. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KP4B2P5aau4 
  • Read a related SATS blog article, titled “Delayed Answers to Prayer, Lessons from the Life of the Apostle Paul.”