I have sometimes felt out of place, like I don’t quite fit in. At school, I was intelligent, sporty, and musical, but was never really part of the ‘in’ crowd. As a veterinarian, I struggled to reconcile my desire to give my patients the absolute best with the realities of practicing in a third-world country. Now, as a freelancer in more than one field, things like insurance and tax can be a challenge; the world would prefer to put you in a box that can be tied up neatly and filed away with all the other similar boxes in that category.
Thank goodness God knows better, and I hope that sharing a little of my journey over the past couple of years will encourage you to trust him with yours.
My journey
I remember how I felt after passing the Professional Editors’ Guild’s accreditation exam, when I realized that God had given me a second skill set and, with it, an alternative to full-time practice. Editing was the answer to a prayer I hadn’t even articulated, and I broke down with emotion and gratitude.
I remember how God met me on the mountain one afternoon after a particularly difficult day that had included conflict with a colleague and my being made to feel inadequate, less-than. With a waterfall and birds behind me and the whole of Cape Town spread out before me, he whispered, “For I know the plans I have for you … plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jer 29:11 NIV)
I remember how scary, but also freeing, it was to go travelling last year and consciously not commit to any specific jobs or work afterwards. He encouraged me to make faith-based instead of fear-based decisions, and I knew I needed to give him space and time to work.
And he did. Our God is faithful! He used that time and space to remind me of the gifts he has blessed me with and the desires he has placed in my heart—things that I, uniquely, can offer because of the way he knit me together for his purpose.
I remember that quiet moment on a bench overlooking the Whale Coast, when I realized that perhaps I sometimes feel out of place because he made me so: “He has planted eternity in the human heart …” (Ecc 3:11, NLT). He created us to be a part of something bigger, and we feel it. I remember thinking: Perhaps I don’t fit in is because I fit out. Outside of my comfort zone, exploring. Outdoors, in God’s captivating creation, taking a time-out from the busyness of our modern world. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to facilitate those experiences for others?
And I remember a particular seaside walk when I’d been seeking clarity and guidance, but hadn’t yet received it. I sat down and like a petulant child, told God I was not walking home until I had an answer. Despite my petulance, he graciously met me in that moment and reminded me of all the little interactions with relatives’ and friends’ kids that had filled my heart to bursting point with joy, and had seemed to fill their littles hearts too.
“It’s got to be with kids, Lord, hasn’t it?” I asked him. He’d already answered.
Truths to hold on to
If you, too, are on a journey of discovery (re-discovery?) and are prayerfully working out where you fit into his Kingdom, I encourage you to ask God to first reveal his masterpiece … you. We are all works in progress with things to learn, and I believe that “he who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ” (Phil 1:6, ASV), but an important part of stepping up to your work in God’s Kingdom is recognizing what he has equipped you for.
Here are my favorite verses about how he created each and every one of us intentionally and with something special to offer the world:
- Psalm 139:14 NIV
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
- Romans 12:6–8 NIV
We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.
- 1 Peter 4:10–11 NIV
Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ.
- 1 Corinthians 12:4–6 NLT
There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us.
Kingdom living
God’s creation is intricately woven, his Kingdom is upon us, and you are a part of it. As you explore your gifts and calling, watch the SATS interview with Pastor Paul Nyamuda that prompted me to write some of this testimony down.
With a better understanding of our unique strengths and weaknesses, let us join hands and work together to reach our communities and share the good news, remembering to work willingly at whatever we do; we are working for the Lord rather than for people (Col 3:23).
