I once visited my uncle who lived in the San Francisco Bay area and worked in Silicon Valley––the area outside of San Francisco densely populated with new startups and established tech companies, like Google and Apple. While in Silicon Valley, I heard the common catch phrase: “Fake it 'till you make it!” This old adage usually means that if onepositively imitates confidence, they will eventually achieve their desired results. But in Silicon Valley, it has a slightly twisted meaning. New startup businesses often operate on shoe-string budgets and need to sell their product or service, but hesitant consumers do not want to purchase products from unknown companies without a proven track record. So,startups often have to fake it––sometimes by employing deception or exaggeration that their product or service does what they claim––whilst maintaining a poker face of confidence. This faked confidence often speeds the process of getting their product or service to marketespecially whilst improving development.

But sometimes startup companies get caught faking it. Such was the case with a startup where my uncle worked as an engineer. The young CEO had a vision to make a blood-testing machine, claiming her machine could test for hundreds of blood tests with just a finger prick of blood at a fraction of the cost of traditional lab work. She was quickly hailed the next Steve Jobs, rising to celebrity-like fame and landing the cover of several major magazines and media interviews. She became the darling of Silicon Valley as the youngest, female billionaire worth 10 billion dollars. Adopting the fake it 'till you make it motto, she claimed her machine worked and got investors to back her company based upon this assertion. She even got a contract to roll out her machine in a pharmacy chain across the USA. However, there was one problem: the machine did not work. No matter what the engineers and scientists tried, they could not get it to perform accurate testing even for just a few blood tests. Blood tests were falsified, the company's board was clueless about the failures, and investors were frauded of millions of dollars. As the machines began to give real patients false readings, the deception was exposed (with the help of an investigative journalist). After seven years, my uncle left the crumbling company and its CEO was eventually convicted and sentenced to 10+ years of prison for wire fraud and conspiracy. The company would not make it.

This same fake it 'till you make it attitude can be seen amongst false apostles and teachers where Paul was ministering in Corinth. Paul, knowing and affirming himself as an authentic apostle appointed by God to preach the gospel (2 Cor. 1:1, 2:17), refuses to align himself to this deceptive motto. Many "peddle the word of God for profit" (2:17 NIV), but Paul offersthe gospel for free (1 Cor. 9:18); many use deception and distortion of the word of God, but Paul sets forth the word plainly (2 Cor. 4:2); many are insincere in what they spoke or in how they conduct themselves, but Paul speaks with godly sincerity and conducts himself with integrity (1:12, 2:17, 4:2).

As Paul recalls his travels to the Corinthians, he pauses to thank God who opened a door for him to go to Macedonia where God leads him and uses him to spread the aroma of Christ everywhere he goes––pleasing for those being saved, but unpleasing for those perishing. Then Paul asks a question (2:16–17): Who is competent to such a task? Who is adequate to do such ministry work? Is it the false apostles disguised as the real deal? Can they simply deceive with none the wiser? Paul answers his own question in 3:4–6, "Such confidence we have through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant...." (NIV).

Paul amazingly reveals the confidence he has as an apostle––as one who spreads the knowledge of Christ everywhere he goes. He doesn't have to fake his confidence as an apostle of Christ until he is eventually shown to be legitimate; fake his credentials or get recommendation letters verifying his genuine apostolic status until he can make ministry results (3:1–3) and boast of those saved through his efforts (1:14). His confidence in his adequacy as an apostle and in his ability as a minister of Christ is not on himself, his credentials, or his hopeful performance, but on Christ (3:4). For Paul is not competent in and of himself to do such a task––to lead people to having life through the new covenant instituted by Christ. Paul is incapable of doing any of this! But Christ is capable and gives Paul the competence he needs to be a minister of this new covenant, to perform and complete the task God has assigned him to do. Paul's confidence rests not in himself, but his confidence is on Christ and Christ's ability to give Paul the competency he needs for such a ministry task.

Currently, the ministry task God has called me to is to study and complete a PhD. As a PhD student, many feel the need to fake it 'till they make it. Students may pretend to look confident on the outside, like they have it all together, like they can compete with the big shots, like they know what they are talking about; yet, deep down, as with nearly every PhD candidate, they feel utterly incompetent, and hopeful that no one sees through their fake disguise. The temptation to feign confidence is significant! Now I've always been one who believes I cando whatever I set my mind to. But when beginning this degree, I experienced a solid year with a complete lack of confidence and a second year that was only mildly better. I was incompetent and I knew it. There was so much to learn and every new thing I read only made me realize how much I did not know.

But I began to see something. I kept seeing God show up––providing me with just the right supervisor, leading me to the right resources at just the right moment, giving me ideas just as I needed them, carving out the exact amount of time I needed to accomplish a task in the busyness of being a mother to four teens, making me efficient in my writing, providing opportunity after opportunity to stretch and grow me, and placing colleagues to speak encouragement just when I needed it. 

Reading Paul's words, I realize I do not have to pretend, or worse deceive, that I have confidence, like some Silicon Valley entrepreneurs. Like Paul, my confidence is not in my amazing ability, my determination and grit, my expertise and brilliance––those are too heavy of a burden to carry as they all depend on me. But my confidence is in Christ because he is doing his work through me. He is the one giving me the competence to achieve what he has assigned for me to do. How wonderfully freeing! What a light load to carry! When our confidence is beyond ourselves, and not dependent on our accomplishments or failures, but solidly rooted in Christ's incredible work, there's no need to adopt the world's fake it 'til you make it motto. For my confidence lays in Christ, not in myself, and I know he will faithfully enable me to complete that which he has called me to do.